Back-to-school season is often portrayed as an exciting fresh start: new teachers, new classes, new friends, and a return to familiar routines. But for many children and teens, the weeks leading up to school can bring something else, too: anxiety.
Some nervousness is completely normal. Starting a new school year means facing uncertainty, changing routines, navigating friendships, and adjusting to new expectations. For some children, however, back-to-school stress can become overwhelming.
As parents, one of the most helpful things we can do is recognize what our children may be experiencing, give them space to talk about it, and know when they may need additional support.
1. Remember That Anxiety Doesn't Always Look Like Anxiety
A child who is worried about school may not come to you and say, "I'm anxious."
Instead, you may notice:
- Irritability or emotional outbursts
- Trouble falling asleep
- Headaches or stomachaches
- Changes in appetite
- Increased reassurance-seeking
- Avoiding conversations about school
- Suddenly not wanting to attend activities they usually enjoy
- Difficulty separating from parents
- Increased conflict at home
- Trouble concentrating
In younger children, anxiety may show up through behavior. In teenagers, it can look like anger, withdrawal, procrastination, or simply saying, "I don't care."
Try to look beyond the behavior and ask yourself: What might my child be communicating?
2. Don't Rush to Fix It
When our children are uncomfortable, our instinct is often to make the feeling go away.
We reassure:
"There's nothing to worry about."
"You're going to have a great year."
"You already know people."
While well-intentioned, reassurance can sometimes unintentionally tell a child that they shouldn't feel the way they do.
Instead, try:
"It makes sense that you're nervous. Starting a new year is a big transition."
Then get curious.
What part feels hardest?
The answer may surprise you. The problem you imagine may be completely different from the one worrying your child.
3. Create Predictability Where You Can
Anxiety thrives on uncertainty.
Before school begins, start gradually returning to school-year routines. Adjust bedtimes and wake-up times. Talk through transportation, after-school plans, activities, and homework expectations.
For younger children, visit the school or practice the morning routine if possible.
For older children and teens, talk about their schedules and expectations without turning the conversation into an interrogation.
You cannot remove all uncertainty, nor should you try. But a little predictability can make a major transition feel much more manageable.
4. Be Careful About Passing Along Your Own Anxiety
Back-to-school season can be stressful for parents, too.
Will my child make friends?
Will she like her teacher?
Will he keep up academically?
Will they be okay living away from home?
Our children often pick up on our anxiety, even when we think we're hiding it.
Try to separate your worries from theirs. Give them confidence that you believe they can handle challenges while also making it clear that you are available when they need you.
The goal isn't to convince them that nothing difficult will happen. It's to help them believe they can manage difficult things when they do.
5. Resist the Comparison Trap
The beginning of the school year can bring a flood of comparisons.
Who made the team?
Who is in the advanced class?
Who has the biggest friend group?
Who got into which college?
Social media can magnify all of it.
Remind your child, and yourself, that development isn't a race. Children mature academically, emotionally, and socially at different rates.
What matters most is not how your child compares with someone else's, but whether your child is growing, learning, connecting, and functioning well.
6. Make Home the Place Where They Don't Have to Perform
Children spend much of their day meeting expectations.
Pay attention. Sit still. Finish the assignment. Make the team. Get the grade. Navigate friendships. Fit in.
Home should provide some relief from that pressure.
That doesn't mean abandoning rules or expectations. It means making sure your child knows that their value isn't determined by a report card, athletic performance, college acceptance, or social status.
Sometimes the most valuable question after school isn't:
"How was your test?"
It's simply:
"How are you doing?"
7. Expect an Adjustment Period
The first few days or weeks of school may be bumpy.
Your child may be exhausted. Your teenager may be irritable. A younger child who was independent all summer may suddenly want more reassurance.
Give everyone a little room to adjust.
Try not to interpret every difficult day as evidence that something is wrong. Transitions take time.
8. Know When Stress May Be Something More
Some anxiety around returning to school is expected. But when symptoms persist or begin interfering with daily life, it's worth paying closer attention.
Consider seeking professional support if your child is experiencing:
- Persistent school refusal
- Frequent physical complaints without a clear medical explanation
- Significant changes in sleep or appetite
- Panic attacks
- Increasing isolation
- Persistent sadness or irritability
- Severe anxiety that interferes with school, friendships, or family life
- A significant decline in academic functioning
- Behaviors that feel dramatically different from your child's usual personality
You don't need to wait until your child is in crisis to ask for help.
Early support can give children and teens the tools to understand what they're feeling, manage anxiety, communicate more effectively, and develop coping skills they can carry with them long after the school year ends.
A Final Thought for Parents
Back-to-school season is a transition for the whole family.
Our children are growing, and each new school year asks us to adjust alongside them. Sometimes our job is to solve a problem. Sometimes it's to set a boundary. And sometimes it's simply to sit beside our child and let them know:
"I see that this is hard. I believe you can handle it. And I'm here if you need me."
Frequently Asked Questions About Back-to-School Anxiety
Is back-to-school anxiety normal?
Some anxiety is very normal, particularly during the first days or weeks of a new school year. It becomes more concerning when anxiety is persistent, severe, or begins interfering with school attendance, sleep, friendships, or family life.
Can anxiety cause stomachaches before school?
Yes. Anxiety can cause very real physical symptoms in children and teens, including stomachaches, headaches, nausea, changes in appetite, and difficulty sleeping.
When should I seek help for my child's school anxiety?
Consider professional support when symptoms persist, your child begins refusing school, anxiety significantly interferes with daily life, or you notice major changes in mood, behavior, sleep, eating, academic performance, or relationships.
Can therapy help with school anxiety?
Yes. Therapy can help children and teens identify anxiety, develop coping strategies, improve emotional regulation, and gradually become more confident handling situations that cause distress.
How WCWCW Can Help
At the Washington Center for Women's and Children's Wellness, our team provides psychiatric evaluation, medication management, psychotherapy, parenting support, and family care for children and adolescents experiencing anxiety, depression, ADHD, school stress, behavioral challenges, and other emotional concerns.
If the transition back to school feels harder than expected for your child or your family, you don't have to wait until things reach a crisis point to seek support.
We currently have availability for new patients and can often schedule appointments within a week.
Contact WCWCW to schedule an appointment or learn more about our child and adolescent mental health services.
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